the love life of a kindergartener

so, the diva started kindergarten.watching the diva's life unfold is more interesting than any soap opera i've ever seen. i spent the first week of her kindergarten career listening to the entire life story of J, the boy who sits next to her. apparently, J is in karate, and has already KISSED A GIRL (which the diva thought was gross). then it's all about how she's learning to read. now she has to read everything. nah, that doesn't get annoying after awhile. really, it doesn't.

in the afternoons, i babysit the charmer. the charmer is a 6 year old cutie patootie (though he'd get totally grossed out if he heard me say that). the diva and the charmer get along like a house on fire, for the most part. last week i overheard them making life plans. they agreed to marry, as long as they never have to kiss. as the charmer put it "i'd rather kiss puke". the diva was unoffended and replied "i'd rather kiss CAT puke". just so we're clear.
that lasted about three days, until the diva chased the charmer around the house for half an hour- trying to kiss him. not too sure what that was all about, but i did notice the charmer wasn't putting up too much of a fight. aaand, back to kindergarten.

 dear, dear, DEAR mrs diva's teacher- thank you for your patience. i don't know how you do it, but the diva loves you. meanwhile, is there any chance you could tell me who Nameless is? the diva informed us the other day that she told Nameless that he could say she's his girlfriend. except she doesn't know his name. apparently names are just insignificant details in her love life. she does, however, clarify that nameless is just at school, she's still going to marry the charmer, her REAL boyfriend.

now for the update: the diva tells her daddy last night that nameless broke up with her for another girl (that scum!!!). her daddy tells her "that's okay, there's plenty of fish in the sea".
"but, daddy, it was hard enough getting that one"

on that note, i'm off to pound my head against the wall. it might improve my day.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaand she's back!

whoops. guess i should have remembered i had a blog before i just disappeared. as you can imagine, life in the abyss of home daycare gets a bit hectic. luckily, we're going to speed through (and possibly tarantino this) and sum up

pulled my head out of my, well, you know, and closed the home daycare. turns out having my home invaded by two foot tall minions for a whopping $2.95/hr (total after all taxes and expenses...yeah, that's $2.95. not per child. total) isn't all it's cracked up to be. miss my minions, but that clocktower barney with the water baloons and uzi wasn't too far off. so, i'm a stay at home mom. and if you think that's not enough work, YOU stay home with the diva- you'll be begging me to take over within a day!!!

so, the other half and i are still here in lovely southern alabama florida. british petroleum is my new friend...now i don't have to make up excuses why i won't go to the beach. of course, in about six months when the housing market here reflects their influence i'm gonna hate them, but at the moment, i'm going with the flow (HA! i'm so punny!)

the diva starts school in 10 days. kindergarten. dear mrs diva's teacher- if you're reading this, run! on one hand, i'm counting the hours till she starts, on the other hand, kind of wondering where time went. pretty sure i blinked and she's 5. since i'm not partial to her learning all about anal sex from the "sexting" fifth graders on the bus, she'll be riding in the car with me to and from school, where she can learn all about it from me (kidding!!!). i'll be looking for a job here during school hours, but thanks to who is momentarily OUT OF MY TOP 8 british petroleum, so is everyone else that worked in the tourist industry so we'll just see how that goes.

tarantino moment: got tired of all the medical bullsh** complications of being overweight thanks to the WONDERFUL VA (veterans administration, though not too far off from our virginian medicine men) dr that put me on medication that got me from a gorgeous 145 to 192 overnight, i got banded. lap banded, that is. it's been 7 months and i'm down roughly 55 lbs. on one hand, i can now shop in regular stores for regular sizes, on the other hand, i now have madonna bat wings arms and i my stomach looks like a deflated pilates ball. on the other hand (i'm a mom, i have a lot of hands!), i'm a cheap date bc i eat roughly the amount an 18 month old does, and get drunk about as quickly as one would, too.

back to the present: just got done with a three week vacay to phoenix, then three weeks with miley jr (who is back in tampa), then 5 days with stephanie from elsewhere and her family...and these events overlapped. still going strong in my mommy's group or as m6/4 (mom of 4 under six) called us, the milfs.

that's it for now, because, you guessed it, the diva needs me.

ttfn and let's see if i actually return in the next few months!